Rape begins with "her boundaries are mine to change"....stop it there.
All of us create boundaries for ourselves that communicate who we are and what we want. If I dress like a clown I want people to laugh. A whore dresses to stimulate a proposition. In addition to clothes, our boundaries include social identities such as single, married, employed or not, mom or not, etc. Our moral positions also communicate boundaries that define who we are, and what we expect from those we associate with.
Since I'm addressing Americans, as an aside; to claim no moral positions at all is to conform to raw power, whether peer pressure or violence. "There's no right and wrong, it's all good" is not freedom from boundaries... but simply the boundaries of moral cowards and hypocrites. Make no mistake, in any righteous situation, the powerful are constrained by the Law while the weak are protected by it. If the Law is hijacked by the powerful to oppress the weak, Jesus has something to say about it. The contradictions and even sarcasm concerning the Law illustrate that Jesus traversed a tight rope in the Gospels to save us from moral cowards on the one hand and the hijacking bullies of the Law on the other.
Because women have something to protect in relation to men, they are the weaker and must rely on the Law for protection. I am referring to nothing less than a female's sexual value. Men don't have anything to lose, if they did they would not consider rape a victory. Rape is overwhelmingly male against female; we all know it's the female who is being robbed. She was in the market (dating or in love), she thought he would negotiate, but then something happened. Rape occurred.
The something that happened was first an idea. Her boundaries are his to change. What happens before every rape is the idea that women don't (always) get to control their own boundaries. Rape begins the very minute men plot when a woman loses her prerogative to define her own boundaries, including changing her mind. (Nine billion Catholics can practice coitus interruptus, but if it's her idea "he can't help it".) We're talking about physical liberties, kissing and petting, and clothes. These are the boundaries closest to us. Trying to stop boundary violations at such close range is traumatic even if successful.
Rape Radar is how whores identify rapists before they get that close. (You can't get paid if you can't exclude rapists, a core skill for whores.) Fortunately rapists show their hand with boundary violations that occur in the distance. A pass or a proposition is not a boundary violation but a test. Providing someone with choices is brushing up against a boundary, but if it feels like a buffalo pushing down the fence....defend yourself accordingly. Still not a rapist. If he changes your social boundaries by lying about the nature of your relationship; Ping, that is the beginning of rape. Instead of offering you a choice, he is trying to preempt your other choices. That's a rapist.
Rape Radar also pings when a women makes a statement about her sexual availability, and he replies "so you say". No one else has a say, why should that have to be stated? Men who condescend to women as neurotic and so hysterically repressed that they don't know their own mind....Ping; he's describing the aftermath of a rape. The Church assists rapists by protecting them as merely sexist. "Some men are sexist [we don't have to change]." Sexism is to rape what racism is to lynching. Not all racists lynched. But all lynchers are racists and have a huge stake in never repenting. "It's only an attitude." PING.
Rape Radar takes time to develop which is unfortunate because it's the young women who are preyed upon. Wiser older women cut off access so perforce rapists gravitate to more vulnerable populations...the young, the drug addicted, the crazy.
Bottom Line; it's worth the money for young women to pay a whore to tell them her war stories. It's a way to borrow her Rape Radar and jump start their own. Plus whores know the difference between rape, which is a boundary violation, and unpleasant sex you wish you never had. Honey, men under-promise and over-perform all the time. (That's why whores get more expensive with experience.)
Rape ends with a premeditated shaming scenario designed to shut up the victim.
Why do so many rapes go unreported?
Because the attacker chooses the time and place, it's a good bet the legal issues will rest on a credibility contest. He said vs. she said. Rapists don't choose victims that have more credibility than they do.
Because the attacker co-creates a shaming culture that applies a double standard but cloaks it behind "equality". Boys and Girls are equal but when she drinks, he decides her boundaries; what did she expect?
Because the attacker delays the rape until the woman does something incriminating. So her guilt on one thing can cover his guilt for rape.
Because the cost of protection is sex, and the victim hasn't yet learned the definition of extortion.
Because the culture and all it's institutions engage in deliberate blindness to the key psychological passage for every mammal; weaning. Once upon a time, a woman gave him everything he needed. Now he feels entitled to "love" from a woman; his needs are her fault. His desperate need to control her is a symptom of a failure to be weaned. Behind many rapists is an overindulgent mother who met her own illegitimate needs at his expense. "My precious little boy you can always depend on me, and I will depend on you." She uses up all the oxygen in the room and there's not much left for the woman who could actually meet his sexual needs. To protect her possession the son centered mother finds ways of undermining the status of women in general. God help her daughters. Weaning is a taboo subject because the men who control Medicine, the Church and the State don't want to remember what they owe to women. Women who dare to request reciprocity are just "gold diggers." The rapist hides behind this amnesia, and gets the benefit of the doubt. "How could such a normal guy do such a thing, we can't imagine!" It's the raped woman who's suspect and abnormal.
The role of the Church in letting men project moral agency onto women is discussed on GodSaveWhores.com/all-aboard.html . "I'm not responsible the devil made me do it." is the silly version. There are a lot of teenagers who helped themselves to underage drinking and then spent their adult lives blaming alcohol for all the sin in the world. Adults are capable of pleasures without letting "vice" take over their moral identities. "If I can't drink responsibly, no one else can either." If beer takes responsibility for sin, the bottle has more chance of getting into heaven than this type of alcoholic prohibitionist. Likewise, the rapist looks out at the world and blames all sex for being sordid. So what he does is par for the course. He's not the moral agent that made sex ugly. She should just get over it. God doesn't want sex to be beautiful, it's Eve's punishment. The Christian Church claims that sex is good but only within marriage. The corollary is that sex is owned by men. That "sex is good only within marriage" gives the rapist open season on unmarried women. The Church condones and colludes with rapists on many levels. Isolating Jesus from sexual generation by making Mary a Virgin (which just means young girl) keeps sex bad, to the great convenience of all the rapists on the pews and in the pulpit. The child sex scandals in the Church are just the tip of the ice berg. If the pulpit ever did declare Rape to be the eighth deadly sin, half the congregation would no longer want to be "christian". They are there to hear that Jesus forgives the degradation of women. "All sins are equal and we all sin. All consequences will be born by the woman, [not our problem]." Has the bully pulpit ever preached that Rape is wrong, period? No caveats. All women own their own boundaries, all the time.
In Genesis 19 God put fences around angels so that human libido can practice respect for sexual boundaries. If the Church can't be bothered to enforce even an imaginary (yet divine) restriction for male libido, what chance do children have? Nor will the bully pulpit ever prevent the projection of male gender onto God, for to do otherwise would pull the rug out from underneath the rapist.
Rahab the Canaanite whore from Jericho is the expendable child the Church refused to protect. She doesn't own her own sexuality because she can't find it. Someone took it from her long ago. Pimps and Pornographers exploit the raped child after she grows up (for a time, before she figures things out). But they're not alone. The Prophets, Rabbis and Priests defame Rahab as some evil dragon. She gets this metaphysical status because her truth is about them. She's a threat to the idea that all Fathers are good, and that God can only be a Father for everybody, no exceptions. The Church Fathers shame her for one reason; to get her to shut up. And as long as they succeed, the rape epidemic will continue unabated.